putting back the pieces to salvage what you have left of your friendship.
i'm glad that the other party is still receptive.
because, i've learnt to not worry about all those 'what ifs'..
because all those just hinder and block out what is actually in front of me.
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just want this post to be more close to heart.
honestly, i don't think i'm a good friend to anyone.
- i don't always answer or reply calls or messages ASAP; even though i expect others to do the same for me.
- i can't seem to make it for certain occasions because i'm "busy". or just lazy.
- i don't like to spend alot on presents but i make my own birthday/christmas cards for others.
- i can however, spend money on other uselesss stuff like mags, snacks and really unecessary shit.
- i don't really make time for people. really, unless they ask me to.
- i think i'm a wet blanket at times when i indirectly or straight-in-the-face reject others request: eg. Asking everyone if they want to watch the new horror movie and i'm the only one who refuses to go.
- Going off at no apparent reason. Mood swings. ._.
- Trying to distance myself when my friend meets their friend (whom i don't know).
- Excusing myself because i think it's ok if i'm not there, the atmosphere would be better...
- I can't or really i don't know how to console or what-you-call-it when friends get upset and need a 'shoulder to lean on'.
- i'm not those kind of really girly/sister girlfriends or the 'hey,bro!' kind of person.
- i'm sometimes in a spacing out mood at times, at which people say i ignore them when they call me. yes, i know i can give you a cold shoulder at times.
- i look into other's eyes when i speak, but not to intimidate its just respecting when i ask or say something.
- previously, i don't look at people's eyes because of an incident last time.
- so when i'm in a crowd i just don't look at anyone.
ok, the above list is really just a list of jumble that i thought.
just sharing?
or telling out all my que dian.
i don't know what is my you dian.