thoughts and emotions

looking at my previous post, it's a sure reminder to me to do what i preached.

i need to look at the current now and be thankful for it.

the circumstances may look bleak but every cloud has a silver lining.

i just want things to be alright.


my thoughts are just like those of any dreamers.

dreamers and makers are similar in a way.

they start of with a vision, but they could do anything if they wanted it to take root.

probably both dreamers and makers can do anything as long as their hearts are put to the task they are committed to.

music reflects the mood and current state of mind one is in and so i've been listening to the band, The Plot In You.




his lyrics made an impression on me, i quite enjoy the song, Feel Nothing.

another song i've listened to is the main theme from the Black Panther film.



i loved the show, it was good!

everyone was really good in their roles, didn't think that there would be the extra scene after the end credits with Bucky.

i have finished watching My Dear Loser series for Edge of 17 & Monster Romance.

thinking of watching a new series while waiting for updated subbed episodes of Sotus S.

the start of another month

really busy this end of the year.

just going to put up a few pictures that i took recently

sugawara in the karasuno mascot suit

bought this new extra part to display Suga's smiley face

he's just so cute. 😊

new display for the upcoming movies!

So far, have been hearing good reviews for Gintama movie
hopefully the Tokyo Ghoul movie will be good as well.

ceiling decor at Muji 

went to check out the Muji flagship store with the in house cafe, spotted this cute decor

haven't been putting any mvs here...
why not now! 😉

MAGIC OF LIFE


Yorushika


the tune has a very radwimps sound... i like it

Luck Life


Frederick


The Oral Cigarettes


another upbeat song, i think it will suit the Ajin movie quite well!

MY FIRST STORY


intense from the start to end...

WEAVER


the melody has a funky 80s synth pop vibe...

ONE OK ROCK


the feels... 😲

working busy

it's crazy busy at work recently but all is good.

managed to meet up with alot of people this past weeks so 'm glad.

meet ups serve as a reminder that i'm still alive and not dead yet.

and that i am loved too, even if contact is not frequent.

currently trying my best to get out of a depression phase.


it's mid-year and the jitters get to me because of the thought of appraisal.


well, away from work matters i went to watch In this Corner of the World last weekend.

it was a great show, pretty touching as well.

the cinema hall was really packed too.

harry potter theme bag

the time turner keychain is really heavy.

my ita bag game is lowkey. not trying at all. 😉

lunch that day was ramen.

something light and refreshing

the cream soda was good too

Add caption

i wonder if they sell this at supermarkets here... 😖

will be going out to have lunch today too.

random fandom ita bag 😃

Hanzo badge and Winter Soldier keychain are a gift from a friend

probably can call this a blue theme itabag too.

will update more after this weekend!

stay chill~

first time for everything

my first time that i ordered some anime related merchandise from taobao 💵

here is a mini haul review on the items i bought. 😏

sticker set, keychains and washi tape

ever since i bought the haikyuu washi tape from doujin market, i am quite addicted to pretty designs of tape. (washi tape is 和纸胶带)

amazed by the quality of the SBR Johnny and Dio rubber straps too! it looked like official merch, like those ichiban kuji prizes

front design of the V Day Daisuga

love birb

the keychain came with a handwritten note to inform about the protective plastic

the tiny suga blowing a 💓 is adorable

the PVC transparent Daisuga sticker set is really good too! love the artwork

pasted some of them into my scrapbook...

McHanzo washi tape design

this artist had really nice artwork so i decided to get it!

got a matching pair of  McHanzo keychains in onesies

also on the side note, i finally cleared the cubby hole space and created a mini shrine for Haikyuu merchandise

😃

decorated the sides and the bottom

put all the postcards to good use by showcasing them here.

you can say that i'm absolute trash for Haikyuu now

here is the full cubby hole with the figurines

💕😍

i have a lot more merch from the series left over so i may reconfigure the showcase again next time.

for now i'm glad with the new set up~!

to reach your limit

how would we measure limit. what is our limit.

the phrase "training is required" when the word limit is mentioned.

power is associated when the word unlimited is mentioned.

would we break or make it when we are pushed to the limits.


as humans, physical limits are real.

so others push themselves mentally as the only way around the limitations.

but the human brain can also accept only so much.

i wonder how it is that success can be used as a tool to motivate people to be great but drive others to the opposite.


i have not found out my potential, yet alone know my own limit.
probably the thing that kept me going is my own mental strength.

✨

hence, there are times that as humans we must take a break when the limit has been reached.

though the episodes of high and low are constant in life they must be equal.

✬

extreme pain at my spine, makes me aware that i have not taken care of my body and passed my limit

the pathetic feeling that i am growing sickly accustomed to.

does this make me less of a human that i have no care of my own health.

✹

when the going gets tough

the tough get going

i wouldn't say i'm tough.
pretty weak actually but i try to act tough.

i hope my act pulls through till the end of my life.


gotta stay stronger even more now then ever, times are being a bitch at the moment for work.
need to have some great motivation.

June always means retail therapy for alot of people.
i recently got into a fix when i was trying out online shopping.


better get my shit together before it spirals out of control next.
the addiction to shopping is something that comes close to being a female.
clothes are not a necessity to me, my priorities lie elsewhere.
secretly i'm glad that there isn't HMV and Tower Records any more.
otherwise i would have spent it all on albums and stuff that take up space.

reading "Goodbye Things" makes me re-think alot on materialism.
it's just human nature to want more and compare with others,
the point, not being contented with whatever we have.

it's still a learning process, but i guess this kind of thing is similar to fasting, to control your urges.

i shall listen to music and get on with life.

flu hits again

not been taking care of my health, suffering the consequences now. 💫

been awhile since i updated, reminder to myself that there will be alot of change in June.

all i need to be is focused on the present, because no point in looking too far into the future.

been thinking about how long i will continue to attend anime conventions

finances has been a real issue that hits back home every month now.

with Doujin Market that's happening next week, i need to keep revising what is a need and want.

actual fact: everything sold is a want though.

i'm in the jdorama phase now,

Masataka Kubota is in 4 gou keibi

and Nishijima Hidetoshi is in Crisis

i may watch reverse after all the eps are out

countdown to AFA

it will soon pass. but as it is yet to arrive so the countdown shall begin!

4 more days till AFA!

shall just upload a few photos that i took randomly the past week!

was at Daiso last weekend and saw some cute kitchenware

cute design 

bear says Hello

went to check out Compass One, newly renovated Compass Point with a slight name change.

so brightly spruced up, unfortunately the library won't be open till 1Q of 2017.

will maybe go there after they open, if i remember.

the Popular outlet there had something i didn't expect them to sell!😲

Ita pen pouch 😍

the same use as an Ita bag but now in a pouch which is pretty big and can be used as a pencil case in my opinion.

if i were still in school i would definitely buy this. 😏
it has double-sided see through zips too

mixed berries bingsu at Wicked Snow

so good! 😋

will be back again soon!

losing it

it's come to a point where i'm starting to lose my appetite at work.

it has been a month since this feeling started.

honestly saying, it is not good for anyone because you need energy to work.
lately it's become almost a chore to eat.

i feel like i could use my break to just sleep because it's making me tired.

to escape personal problems i could delve into working alot to keep my mind off.

but not possible when now i can't keep up at work.

i've been complaining of headaches for the past week, i'm annoying.

maybe it should really be a good idea to take a long break.

i still have a list of to go places on my off day but never actually put into action.

still want to go to the seaside.

even if it's pasir ris it's ok.

just to get away and be able to hear the waves.

there's usually 3 ways people turn to : family, work/friends, god or other things (hobbies etc)

recently been thinking if really i believe in anything really.

mostly likely my thinking is warped since i didn't attend services as regularly since i have work on Sundays at times, i could request for off but didn't.

and i don't commune or read that much so, maybe my disbelief is increasing

i'm putting myself in bad light i know, but i'm just being as honest as i can

if not to others to see but to myself

i need to be more honest with my feelings to others, it's hard.

feel like i need to read the purpose driven life again.

no purpose now, not as driven.

or probably driving but no destination

like driving on an infinity loop

august flies

this is going to be a personal post...

this will most probably be ideas and thoughts scrambled in my mind and just pouring out in this mumbo jumbo post.

with regards to relations and certain interactions this song were currently speaking what i feel alot the past couple of months

the other song is called Hollow also by coldrain.

i think it's time that i start writing a diary or be more open on writing more personal stuff here.

maybe i shall post privately if need be.

i keep alot of things bottled up and it's not good at all.

just want to see how long i can keep up with this. but in the right mind i should do what's best for me and maybe on the bigger picture to do what's best for the whole team since everyone needs to co-operate to get things done.

that's what rising up to the challenge means. change is constant, and i want to be a better person so it's good to embrace certain changes. Changes in environment and inward changes are two kinds that can be done for the better (or worse?)

i can see how resolutions and appraisals are similar, the fact they get you to set a target and review if you met it in the past year and also create more new targets for self improvement.

sometimes i feel that within the midst of all the little changes to improve i'm afraid i change my character which makes me more vulnerable, but then again i say i'm just human and we all are tiny beings in a wide universe. it's alright to be vulnerable, with the changes going about everyday like time, it waits for no one, i just want to be in time and still be glad to know that the core of me is still as original and still me.

will i lose my real self with change?
as i get older i let myself be less self conscious as i tend to be in the younger days.
although sometimes it comes back to me later and i overthink.

writing is a good therapy for me, ever since i was introduced to it in Primary school.
introvert help tip - writing helps! write about your day, come up with any fictional premise, compose music and lyrics... anything that helps to keep the blues away!!

find your source of cheer! for me that's writing!

sometimes watching Bob Ross painting videos help me feel calm.

this month seems to be springing off its feet the moment it landed!
i have to do my best with coping with change and being the change i want~

what goes up must come down

i haven't been really posting anything music related in quite some time.

perhaps i will do so in today's post

Will be sharing some of my current listening playlist



Recently I started listening to their old album, The Enemy Inside
You is my favourite track from the album so far.



I think this song has a very Hawaiian feel.

Probably just me who thinks that because of the melody and drums though.

I would like to chill by the sea with this song in the background whenever I listen to this and imagine.

Bed by Galileo Galilei

my heart still beats for their songs. damn... band disbandment are certainly low points in my life,

but when bands do get back together



Sleeping with the Light On by Busted

still remembered whenever I heard "Shocks swim through my veins" as "Sharks"

lol...

really miss them, they still sound awesome!

Cobus is really cool too!

James does really great harmonies...



Meet you there



Summer Time Love - Shiggy Jr.

the vocals is ok to listen to, i guess i like the pop sound from their songs

but this is my favourite of all.



Mayday just released a music video not sure if there was ever one. but anyway, my favourite song from them though.

i'm confused with the storyline in the music video still. i think all that matters is i still love this song alot.



by far my favourite song in the whole album. everything else is good to but i like this because of falsetto. just something - i really like to hear good falsettos.

they are back with new music



like finally. i wonder how the rest of the album will sound like. but so far this is good.



on a personal note...

not sure if i can keep up with shenanigans that i'm up to.
too tired but not too tired to quit?

feeling down lately.

think the rest of the year will be quite trying.

i'll try to not kill myself in the process

Laters.

an essay of my past week

Most things that I write here are usually things that represent what I like. But the answer to the question as to who I am, that is different. I don’t always like to write about my personal life because it’s too much of a time to think of what I really want to say and it can come up to writing an essay. Well, today’s post will be a bit of my life. About this week, in particular.

I’ve fallen sick again with the common symptoms like runny nose, and cough with phlegm. There was the underlying problem with the lock jaw, this happens to the right side of my jaw. It has happened before but I do not recall how long this problem has persisted. The last time I faced the locked jaw was during the karaoke session during my birthday as well. No one seemed to notice I had trouble trying to sing, so I guess I let it slide. I like the phrase “Let it slide”, it’s like to say no one will notice and you just push the problem further and further. Trying to get it away. As far as I can see, the problem is still there and not disappearing any time soon.

Then it was the numbness in my left hand. It’s only happening to me since the start of yesterday in my last two fingers. The pinky finger and the one next to it. I’m not sure about other people, but in general most people would feel as afraid to go to the doctor for a check-up. I know I am. Over-thinking and assuming you have contracted an incurable disease or an illness that can only be maintained by taking a life-long dosage of medication. It sounds very exaggerating, I know. But growing up and having seen your parent take medication every single day of their life. It’s just how it is now. Once you start you can’t stop taking those medicines, unless you want to drop out of life.

I should say safely, it started a couple of months back when things were starting to get hectic at work and at home was just the same humdrum. I want to self-diagnose myself with depression but on the same hand I would be totally off track and lose the definition of depression. But I would say gathering from my thoughts and speech, I would be slightly depressed. Slightly more than usual. Like that imaginary raincloud over my head is thickening and getting darker each day. Please don’t burst!! I hate balloons/water balloons bursting.

It’s funny hearing people comment that since I’m practicing a religion I shouldn’t be so sullen. But this *depression (anxiety, sadness, worry, etc. feelings) they don’t choose who to harm. So does it mean if I don’t have a faith I am very most entitled to be sullen? Put it another way, I could choose not to let it get to me. But I haven’t told you before this; I’m not a very strong person. Mentally and physically still struggling daily. This would probably only answer a bit of why I haven’t got my act together or why I have not found something to be passionate about as some people would like to put it.

It’s true I don’t have much achievements to be proud of and to say to date where I’ve come to it’s been a long time. Time passes and things have changed. I will try my best for my team at work and try my best to be a filial child. But I’m still a kid when it comes to taking care of myself. In that way I’m most disappointed and angry at myself. I think I have thought of things that are taken out of context a lot and that makes my mind go all wonky. Like what is the real facts and what is imaginary, sometimes I can’t quite make out. I guess I can understand a little how it is to be mentally unstable.

I honestly like to ask people around questions that make them feel uncomfortable. I don't really know why. And it tends to be that they start to avoid talking about personal questions to me because it goes downhill sometimes and ends up becoming awkward. That's why I say I don't have many friends.

Or I would like to say, every one has given a part of themselves to different friends. So each one of us knows a certain part of a friend but not the whole person. It's difficult and complicated isn't it.

Today's post is really very heavy. I won't be posting again till my next off day so by then i hope things improve.

round in circles

Watching Free! can make one feel sadness and loneliness at times.

why do shows have to throw in pieces of slice of life moments

maybe its just not my kind of genre..

prefer the fantasy kind of stuff...

personally, i feel that the BGM for Free! is really nice!


haven't got the time to blog nowadays...

work's good so far.. just got down with cough and sorethroat...

not my day though..


slowly catching up with some animes...

Persona 4 is awesome!

lots of people have been mentioning about the new series, Pupa

but i think i have too wait till its complete..


went back to listening to Mayday songs..

recently they have a song used in a mainland period drama starring Ariel Lin..

入陣曲

look what i found!

Book Hunt 04.07.2013

almost 3 months later, i managed to find the 4th book in the Tiger's Quest series!!

Whee~!

there's a fifth book called Tiger's Dream which will be the last book in the series..

but it will be out next year!~

hmm... will i forget about it then?


i wanted to borrow Maggot Moon before but i was afraid i couldn't finish..

still can't borrow any big titles like Infernal Devices and Mortal Instruments yet.

its difficult to find the first book.

maybe the next trilogy i want to read is Across the Universe...

i wanted to borrow the shining, =-=

shall take notes of the books i want to read next time.


just last weekend, i started to pay for internet bills and so we signed a new contract and got the starhub box to watch some cable tv.

but i think i will be the only one watching it, since every else is so busy.

Hello Japan will be my favourite channel!!!~

rest day!

went to the library and was thinking between borrowing another trilogy or just separate books and i end up with the trilogy.

this time its the Matched series by Ally Condie

Matched series by Ally Condie

i have not been successful in finding the last book in the Tiger's Quest series.

>.< i do hope i can find it so i won't be having to have another cliffhanger.

luckily i didn't borrow Rick Yancey's The 5th wave though i thought it was interesting.

i would be the 1st in a new series...

yikes!

i kind of dislike series now..

especially when its still ongoing and the next book isn't out yet.

3 book series: Trilogy
4 book series: Tetralogy
5 book series: Pentalogy

i guess the list could go on and on... 

another up and gaining fast in popularity series is the Legend series by Marie Lu...
its also a trilogy but the final book will be out in Nov 5 2013.

it's difficult to find series which have less romance in it...

almost every Young Adult novel has pinches of romance in it.

i think i read too much mystery/thriller and horror books until i feel weird to read stories on young love or true love...

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

lately work seems to be more busy due to more movie tie in and also the holiday and promotion season.

not sure what the future brings but i will try my best even in the toughest of times.

let the haters hate, but always remember the ones who love you too so don't give up~!

its gone down

slightly....

the haze

the recent furor about haze that's been affecting SG and other countries because of the forest fires in Indo

at least it's slowly subsiding...

hope it won't carry on for too long.

if i thought school was tough, i guess i was wrong after all.

the world outside is cruel than one can ever imagine.

facing my demons everyday and just praying i don't become one.


trying to maintain a positive outlook everyday of work because getting too caught up in my head could spell a lot of trouble.

and to stop thinking too much and comparing because it will kill me slowly.


-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

just found out that natsu matsuri this year is on 24 aug!~

i wish i can gooo~


let's see if i can work out something...

recently been checking out on wigs.

been thinking of getting a simple long black or dark brown one... more natural looking kind...

but it seems like its only easily bought online...

sometimes i wish i could grow my hair to a certain length but always end up cutting it.

if i could get a wig i may want to wear it to afa and for certain outings...

i can have long hair!

 from long time when i was young, i had always wished that if i had long hair i want to braid it...

okok, so just to end my post...

here's a video of 

she's good at the makeup...

time for some fun

June is here.

Let's do all the best during this period!

Kids have fun while adults cry because $ fly.

well well, it's life~

EXCUSE IS JUST AN OPTION.

this week was many lesson learnt.

learn from mistakes and build up good habits.

i want to make smarter and better choices; if not for me then for the benefit of those around me so as not to burden them.

because he is a samurai with heart~

thoughts on humanity

when one is sick, the most important thing is to not lose your mind about it.

it's just the body that is weak but the mind is still strong.

i will get better and stronger after this.

i've been neglecting a few things ever since i started work.

and i realised the time spent while not schooling or working aka "holiday mood" was really a time that i wasted alot.

sure i did what i liked and enjoyed but i think about it again; is it for selfish ambitions?

someone once said to go for a concert is ok nothing wrong, but compare going to a concert which means your ticket fee goes to a charity fund compared to one that your fee goes to the artiste for transport and maintenance.. etc. which one would be better?

generally, one will just think of wanting to see the artiste regardless of whether the fee goes to whose hands. just wanting to see the artiste is the main point. but i guess sometimes as human you will tend to take pity on other less fortunate.

on the flip side, someone else once said why bother about charity funds. if those people are still able to work and support themselves why do they still seek the support from the public for donations? the most logic thing is that they should go to the government or management (if the case calls for either) and settle their problem. if the most higher ups don't move to help then what more can be said for the public?

i think this is just human nature, self before others because we all have the knowledge that each of us are special and should deserve what we expect from others.

but i want to try to not expect anything, that way when something happens the moment becomes even more special and memorable.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

just an update on my life:

SID came to perform with flumpool on 23/5 and i didn't manage to go.

but through the pictures and videos of fellow SID fans from the web i felt like i went for it too.

and of course to kimeki who went (partly on my behalf as well? :D thanks so much!~)

and got pictures too!

and also... after working for almost 2 months my love for anime is slowly growing again!!

folks there love japanese things one way or another~

common interest makes birds of the same feather flock together!~

i will continue to be more positive and enthusiastic!

HWAITING!~~ GANBARE~!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

regrets

it was posed to me as a question during my mentorship session.

in the aspect of my whole life till me now, i would say yes.

in every passage of my life i would have been caught in some mind stretching situations

and looking back at it the steps i took to solve the problems were done at that point of time.

though if i did it another way, i think i wouldn't be where i am or met whoever i met.

if i had a chance to visit the past, i would like to see it again in a third person POV.


it will be pretty enriching and enlightening to study myself as an outsider.

but i wonder if i met such situations now would i act the same way i did in the past or change my actions.

but like those shows that have a character being able to go back and wanting to change the past in order to make the future better, it is always futile.

but i think whatever i do now,  i want to do it so that my future self will benefit from it.

that way, the regrets will be lesser.


on the other hand, looking at regrets i think its also a form of the mental state of mind.

to take regrets in a positive or negative way is up to myself.

i have to keep holding on.

back!

been a week or so since i last posted!

work has been quite busy since there was a few events held at Kino during the past 2 weekends.

went for orientation and store vists!

it's interesting to notice the fixtures and layout.

the new store will be opening end of May!

Happy! ^_^

this month is pretty happening!

just sharing some pictures

cloudy and sunny

nendoroids on sale @ China Square Atrium fair

went to check out the toy shops too.

Yoshi~

saw some gintama chibi figurines in the shop! but i didn't take photos..
instead i got some of these...

Kamen Rider

cute~

this is the real C-3P0

iced tea

i like to read the joke/riddles found on the wrappers...

tu shu guan

the most oriental looking library in sg

most of the books were Chinese...

i only like the carpet design...

borrowed Elixir series

the series is written by Hilary Duff.

i know it is a romance story, but isnt it always that genre for most Young Adult Fiction for girls?

just want to see if its good....


just found out that SID's gig with flumpool for Music Matters is a FREE EVENT at Clarke Quay

my heart is sinking~


i can't make it for their live. but i do hope it won't be their only performance here!!!

i want them to come again!!~


and i realised i missed the release date of NICO's new album, Shout to the Walls!

i wanna hear the album!!~

there are many interesting song titles, such as Strawberry Girl

haha...

ok then, will update again soon!!!!