was one of those days, the days i don't feel like going home after work.
The days i want to have some me time, that are not in front of the computer.
(Ironically, i still have to type it out here.)
The days i don't want to be pressured to go home in time for dinner.
i want to feel what it's like to be alone, to feed myself.
self reliance, is it still there inside me?
when the protective shields are gone does the me inside have what it takes to survive?
to survive the odds, the cold, the foes?
in the end, does having a strong mind make up for it as well?
the walls are still intact but it feels like the insides are crumbling to dust.
routine for long with no change, loses it's sight of the goal.
it seems to blur the end of the line, making it seem endless.
or just an infinity loop.
what happens when routine is broken?
what becomes of it?
as the mind circles for an answer, sleep overtakes and consciousness dims and fades out.
drifting away in the silence, searching for peace whilst fighting to look for it awake and aware.
today is the day such thoughts entered my mind.
today is the day i decide to voice them out on a platform comfortable for me.
many things i have yet to learn and change about myself.
giving oneself constructive feedback is challenging when one has little self love.